(Image created using OpenAI’s DALL-E tool via ChatGPT.)

I saw Wicked today and really loved it. For me, Wicked has been more than a musical—it’s been a companion through some of the most formative and challenging moments of my life. So it was so powerful to see a show that I have loved for nearly two decades portrayed on the screen. 

Each time I’ve seen Elphaba’s journey, it has resonated with me in new and powerful ways. Today, as I watched her defy gravity on the big screen, I couldn’t help but reflect on how her story parallels my spiritual journey out of the LDS Church—one of seeking truth, facing rejection, and finding freedom in grace. 

I first saw Wicked on Broadway with my mom. As a teenager who struggled with self-doubt and insecurity, I could relate to Elphaba’s longing to be seen and appreciated.  It was also the last broadway show that I got to see with my mom before she died at the end of 2005. Watching the movie today brought back memories of seeing it with her. 

I also saw Wicked in 2009 in London when I was studying abroad and my Sister and Nephew came to visit me from Israel. I found it utterly captivating and especially loved Alexia Khadime’s stunning performance that channeled Elphaba’s pain and anger. Having experienced opposition for following my heart and my beliefs, I could really relate to Elphaba’s pain of rejection and loss. 

I next saw Wicked on Broadaway again as a newly wed in 2013. Having been recently married, I could relate more fully to Elphaba’s longing for Fiero and her heartbreak at the loss of loved ones. 

When I saw Wicked today, I saw her journey through the lens of my transition from the LDS faith to Evangelical Christianity. And I could relate so deeply to Elphaba’s longing to meet the Wizard only to come to realize that he was a fraud and a charlatan. 

Elphaba had seen the wizard as the great and powerful one who had incredible magical powers. Peeking at the man behind the curtain and realizing that he was not really a wizard was deeply disillusioning and painful. I likewise once saw the leaders of the LDS Church as Prophets, Seers, Revelators, and Apostles with special access to the power of God. I revered their every word as if it had come from Jesus Christ. Realizing that they were well intentioned men but lacked any special access to God was likewise deeply disillusioning and painful. 

Elphaba and all of Oz had recited the Wizard’s origin story to increase confidence in his power and ability to save Oz. I likewise had fully accepted Joseph Smith’s origin story, taught it to thousands on my mission, and revered him as one who had “done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived.” (D&C 135:3). It really hurt me to realize how he had embelished his origin story to deceive and exploit his followers.

Elphaba came to the Wizard looking for him to solve the problems that she saw in Oz. But she came to realize that not only was he not going to solve her problems but he was actually the source of her problems. I likewise came to realize that LDS leaders, while mostly well intentioned, were not the heroes I thought they were. In fact, they had taught false doctrines, perpetuated harmful policies,  and had even lied to cover up embarrassing facts. 

Elphaba tries to explain this to Glinda, her best friend. But Glinda refuses to come along with her and chooses to remain with the Wizard and to further his deception. I have likewise felt the heartache of friends being unwilling to listen and even cutting me off rather than talking to me about my faith. 

When Elphaba tries to expose the Wizard’s deception, she is immediately labelled as an enemy of the state, a menace, and a witch. I likewise saw how friends who had considered me to be sound in my beliefs turned on me overnight and labelled me as an anti-Mormon apostate. 

Watching Elphaba’s defiant cry at the end of her song brought tears to my eyes. She was willing to become a pariah and outcast rather than give into a lie. And in doing so, she discovered that her powers were never dependent on the Wizard.

Elphaba’s journey deeply resonated with my journey of loss, doubt, transformation, and rebirth in Christ. Like Elphaba, I feel blessed that even as I became disillusioned with the Wizard, I did not lose faith in the power that he claimed to represent. I discovered that my faith and hope were not tied to the institution I once revered. Instead, I came to know the true source of divine power–Jesus Christ and his Gospel. I came to learn that with him and his grace I could defy the gravity of my sin and take my chance to fly.