My heart goes out to my Latter-day Saint friends and family members who had a really difficult day today with the passing away of their leader President Russell M. Nelson, and the horrific church shooting in Michigan.

My heart breaks with my friends who are in mourning. An attack on a house of worship is an attack on all people of faith. Regardless of theological differences, I stand with my LDS friends in solidarity against this atrocity. Period.

I learned about the attack as I was on my way to my own Church, and it was really heavy on my heart. The sermon today was on 2 Timothy 1:8-14, which are beautiful verses about standing as witnesses of Christ, being willing to suffer with him, and defending the faith. But what stood out to me the most was when our pastor turned to some counsel from James:

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20).

What beautiful and profound wisdom. We are all too quick to speak. We are all too quick to anger. We do not listen as we should. And we respond with haste and judgment and anger. This is not pleasing to God.

James’s words also felt like an appropriate tribute to President Nelson, a man who spoke extensively about the need to be peacemakers. On a day like today, that reminder feels especially fitting.

How much anger and contention and sorrow could we avoid if we were slower to speak and quicker to listen?

I have been trying to take this wisdom to heart as I’ve been processing the news today. I’ve seen far too many people being far too quick to speak and far too quick to anger. I was grieved to see how quickly some turned today’s sad news into a debate about theology or speculation motive. I don’t think that honors God, nor does it comfort those who are hurting. And I think that all of that “does not produce the righteousness of God.””

If your first response to the news today was to think about theological debates or winning arguments, rather than the pain and sorrow that people are feeling, then perhaps you need to examine your heart and take James’s words into account. I am not casting judgment—I know that I have been guilty of it myself before. I know that I need to do better with it as well.

Another important benefit of being slow to anger and quick to listen is that we create space to seriously examine ourselves and our own hearts. When we are quick to speak and quick to anger, we are often unable to engage in self-reflection.

I tried to do this today as I thought about President Nelson. I prayed for him, for his family, and that he will find mercy, grace, and peace as he stands before God. And I reflected on my own need for God’s grace and mercy. Rather than feeling smug or superior, I felt humbled and grateful to God for his kindness and mercy towards me, a sinner.

I know that there is some irony about writing a blog post on a day of a tragedy urging us to be slow to speak. But I pray that James’s words will be a source of wisdom and solace. I pray that we will all be able to do better at loving, listening, and serving rather than judging and responding with sharpness and anger. And above all, I pray that in Jesus Christ—the Prince of Peace—we will find the true comfort and lasting hope that no leader’s passing and no act of violence can ever take away.